GMRRFFA Instant Poll Results!

On a night that will be remembered for far more than the draft, let’s look back at the beauty of Same Ol’ Smeet’s draft night, complete with eating an edible despite zero prep and a few bucks to get a respectable roster…

• $97 for Travis Kelce, who will be dangled over competitors as potential trade bait within three weeks;
• $24 for Michael Carter. <Hard Stop> I like Carter, even on the Jets. Its fine as a stash (Trey Sermon, the heir apparent in San Francisco on a legit offense, went for two bucks more). I candidly wonder if Smeet’s aware the Jets draft two different Michael Carters this year, and if he in fact knows which is on The Smeetcar named Desire’s roster. More amusing, Carter was the very best running back Smeet drafted all night…;
• After Carter, who was the 30th player bid on Friday night, Smeet spent one dollar on every other player;
• Post-draft, Smeet had only a handful of assets, Kelce, AJB, and Allen & Allen Law Firm. Wow — I mean, wow; and,
• Smeet’s night ended like this:

In any case, GMRRFFA owners were quick to identify who had the worst night, given largely to his incessant giggling at everything from the cost of WR2s to the ever-increasing silence in the video chat as owners realized how much easier it is to talk and make jokes via boy chat as opposed to face-to-face conversation.

In any case, special thanks to the Unicorn for quickly putting the instant-poll together. It was a pleasure working with him again, notably for how quickly he’d update his content, ping me to review things, and share results of his instant-poll when available. If only GMRFFA used his content exclusively, there’d be zero delay between draft and final…

How do you feel about your team after the draft?

• 46% believe they are championship while 31% think they at least make the playoffs… This league is bananas.

Who did better in the battle of the big stacks?

• Fredo 54%–31% over the Commish! Which is perfectly fine, even though the big stack failed to draft any remotely-elite wide receivers, spent $19 for a quarterback who might not be able to throw for two hundred yards per game, and barely drafted any depth. Yes, he snagged CMC, but he overspent (my estimates + league-wide agreement via polling below) for him and Aaron Jones. While he has both handcuffs now, Fredo is basically praying that he doesn’t suffer a single injury… In any case, Fredo won the draft, although let’s be honest that I won draft weekend. He couldn’t even enjoy his Cheerios the next morning before he realized all his mocking about folks like Damien Harris and Mike Davis over the summer was incredibly short-sighted and that the season still has 130 more days or so.

Who is the league favorite after the draft?

• With 38.5% the Commish was favored, which is obviously the kiss of death. More notably, nearly 40% of owners thought I was the favorite despite “losing” the big stack draft night to Fredo and before the AJB/Harris moves. Meanwhile, while this group of owners enjoy mocking every single transaction the Commish makes, it essentially endorsed my off-season strategy of acquiring running backs as opposed to simply having the big stack, and that’s before my weekend transactions. (Larry’s little brother confirmed I’m the bad guy, but I literally tell people what I’m doing — its not my fault.)
• Fredo, Coop (great night), and Larry all received 15% of the vote as well. The Unicorn noted that Carlos voted for himself, which is better than not voting at all I guess.

Who needs to make on more move to be stacked?

• This was a hard question because it implies we all know each team’s roster fairly well when in reality only Garcia and I do… In any case, nine teams received at least one vote, but Fredo received 23% compared to Coop and the Commish, who both had 15%. Let’s keep in mind this poll was immediately post-draft, so it was premature, like “Smeet popping edibles before the draft” premature.

Which player was the steal of the draft?

• Open-ended questions are the worst survey questions ever, like the “Mercole Hardman” response to steal of the draft (which was included)… Ultimately, both Tyreek Hill and Saquon Barkley received 23%, tops overall, but barely ahead of “I don’t know/I was high.” In any case, both guys are on Garcia’s squad so it looks like he had a good night until you remember Barkley and Joe Mixon are his running backs, which raises a ton of questions.
• Others receiving votes includes Aaron Rodgets, Etienne, George Kittle, Jamarr Chase, Zeke; etc. Each of these guys received one vote, likely from the individual who drafted them. (Also, FIL thinking Chase was the steal given his night Friday is LOL)

Who was the reach of the draft?

• Fun one! No option received more than two votes (open ended surveys rock!) and I’m still shook Matt Ryan wasn’t included. In any case, CMC, Chris Godwin, and Patrick Mahomes all tied with 15% each, doubling CEH (who was fine at his price), Carter (fine at his proce point), Tampa D (huh?) and “I was high,” who really hit its at this point in the survey.

Who is absolutely fucked going into the season? Why?

• Finally, we get back to overwhelmingly obvious results. Despite being an open-ended question, Smeet dominated, collecting an impressive 67% of the vote with blistering feedback about his zero RB strategy, including: “Edibles made him forget about RB apparently; too many edibles…; Me? I dozed off staring at my screen and drafted a second kicker; has worse RBs then even I do; he does not have a single RB1 on his roster; and, his rbs are ass.”
• What a bad instant beat for Smeet, who secured an elusive RB1 the following day!
• Toby received 15% and FIL and Makese also receives votes. All four are early finalists for selling off assets and officially entering the LB6 in Week 4.

In any case, tough night all around for Smeet, but as we endlessly reminded Fredo, the season is more than one night. Smeet can definitely dig himelf out of the hole he’s in, and made the smart decision to do so this weekend by procuring that RB1.

Thanks again to the Unicorn for putting this together — given how his competitors performed in the early parts of the season, he’s legitimately a playoff contender so perhaps he’s not officially irrelevant just yet…

In any case, the survey suggests we should resurrect the Kamara-Williams Worst Personnel Moves of the Year later this season (candidly, it wasn’t much fun reminding everyone how Larry dropped Alvin Kamara for Johnathan Williams while the Architect was racking up his three-(co)peat. (*Note the aforementioned sentence should be read as past tense)

Thanks again and if you need a running back, call me (again).

(PS — 1,200 words without mentioning how bad a weekend Stabs had! Seriously, no edibles for Smeet and Stabs probably would have been the biggest draft weekend loser)